The phrase ‘to forgive and forget’ is quite a common advice for people who have been hurt physically, emotionally or mentally in a hope that they can move on to a new chapter in their lives. However, in very traumatic cases, certain people say they may try to forgive but find it extremely difficult to forget. I fully agree with this notion and that is why I don’t tell people to shut out the memory, in my healing practice. I have learnt that by default, every single moment we encounter is stored in our cellular memory (DNA field). So, it is literally impossible to forget 100%. However, what I try to do is to suggest that people forgive or make peace with the perpetrator who caused them so much pain/anger while at the same time love themselves more.
In my past reiki healing sessions, several of my clients have spontaneously burst into tears , halfway through those sessions. From what I could discern from angelic guidance, the healing energy that I sent to them stirred up past painful episodes. Sometimes, bad childhood memories may surface from the subconscious mind whereas on other occasions, these memories could be from past lives! When that happens, I ask my clients to acknowledge these feelings and tell them to ‘let it all out’. I explain to them that there is NO shame in crying. (Note: In cases where my clients are males, I don’t tell them to ‘be a man’ and end the flow of tears. On the other hand, I explain that it is an effective way to release pain and sorrow). Then I suggest to them to forgive those who have hurt them as well as to send love to their own selves. In summary, I will never advise people to suppress their pent-up feelings or tell them to force themselves to forget those moments because the memories would continue to exist anyway.
Instead, I explain to them that every single event has no meaning until we assign it with one. A memory is painful to recollect because we reacted in a particular fashion. The definition was given by us and by the same token, we can always change our description of it by reacting differently. So, I suggest to my clients to make peace with the memory by forgiving the ‘culprit’. I explain that when we forgive someone, we are not implying that it’s alright for people to hurt us. Instead, we are trying to lighten ourselves by letting go of the anguish feelings. If we choose not to forgive, the burden will continue and we will never attain inner peace. In other words, it is perfectly fine to admit that some horrible event has happened to us, and often, it is part and parcel of our challenging life on Earth. But if we choose to heal and rise up from being in ‘victim mode’, a brand new opportunity arises.
In the end, I explain to people that we do NOT have to be defined by our history. Instead, we ought to realize that we have the ability to chart a new future. In doing so, we can live as an empowered person. Change always begins with the belief … that we CAN change!